This is my first film, which has explored the theme of light. It is very simple and straight forward, it is silent clean and empty in a good way. It is very pure in it’s aesthetics. This film is an experiment of sorts for me personally, as I always like complex images on top of each other and a lot of sound, and i sometimes like to create disturbing videos, while this is very pure and simple for me, while it still clearly looks at the light.
I have filmed it in St. Pauls Cathedral during a very lit morning. I thought it had a lot of interesting patterns and surfaces, which light laid on differently.
What kind of a filmmaker do I want to be? – is a very hard question, which I have asked myself a numerous amount of times, but never got an answer. Maybe I did not know what to tell myself or scared to hear the answer. I will try to tell you and myself, now, who I want to be.
I always liked films, but since a certain, rather young (as my family thought) age, I started liking ‘weird’ film, that people rarely liked and never understood. Films that they’ve said did not have a clear narrative or, actually anything, they were just moving images with no purpose, that’s what they used to say. I never agreed. I like stories, but I could always read one, because written text will always have to have a more or less clear meaning to be interesting to someone, because it only has letters put into words, but film… A moving image – a combination of sound and image and anything else you want, even text.
Films should be more like dreams, that’s what I think – incomprehensible, but so beautiful and full of something, that it may sometimes feel like you can actually taste them.
I want my films to have questions, that people will only be able to answer themselves, I want my films to make people feel and connect with them on another level, so it could feel like my films almost have a taste. I want my films to have a mood, an atmosphere, but I want the people to decide how it feels themselves, so my movies would have a different, very personal feeling and meaning to every viewer.
I hope I can make films which will be dreamy and will make people forget, that they are watching something and give them ability of travel to space, without a space shuttle.
I have explored the theme of personal and political (public) and their connection to me. I have filmed myself in a bathroom, a very personal space, where people don’t see you and in the city, an open space where you meet loads of people every moment. I act and move different in both places, I tried to film the different atmospheres and show them side by side.
Version 2
I have used a song called ‘Do you know?’ by a Russian singer MakSim, I used to listen to this song a lot, when I was younger and it really resonated with me. I initially wanted to use a recording of my younger self singing, but i then thought that it was lacking that political / public side. Therefore I have decided to use a very popular song, that everyone knew and sang at the time, making it very public. Me being on of the people listening to that song, it somehow felt very personal to me when I’ve listened to it on my own; but the same thing happened to many other people and that’s one of many examples how people personalise things, which are very public.
I have recorded myself saying the lyrics of the song putting the full meaning, which it had to me at the time. I wanted to transfer the feeling of the song playing in my head, while i say the lyrics out loud to myself. MakSim sings how she has lost the love of her life and how has to walk those roads with her heart torn apart and her feet bleeding, the roads and the loneliness in the bathroom are illustrated in my work.
I wanted to add subtitles at first, as I did in one of my earlier films, but i have then decided, that this was unnecessary, as the meaning of the song was not the important bit of the film. It was mine and i loved it and that is the reason why it was there.
left side
right side
After getting responses from my non-Russian speaking viewers I have decided to chance my initial decision and add subtitles, as my viewers wanted to know what the words say, otherwise it had left them guessing. So i have created a version 3 (bottom) with subtitles in the same vintage style, as my whole video.
I wanted to hear my mum talk about her life in Russia and Uk on separate screens and listen to the difference and hear how politics has affected and still affects her life, or see it by images.
I have later come to a realisation that this idea was too complex for a one minute film, which also had to also include two sound tracks, giving each only around 30 seconds of time, which I thought was not enough, so i gave up on this idea, leaving it for a later time and a different film.
I also though that the idea for my twin screen piece should be more clear in terms of separating the personal and the political into two different screens, rather than it all being combined in both.
Being stuck in Russia, where I was born and grew up, during Corona virus I thought that it was a perfect time to film the ‘Personal’ themed film. I have spent a lot of my childhood years in a USSR times spa sanatorium down the road from my house called ‘Дружба’ (Drujba), which means friendship in Russian.
It was open since built, back in USSR until 2010s, after it was sold and shut, with no clear reopening date. It was a very unprofitable purchase and it was soon left empty waiting for a new buyer, which never came. It soon became an attraction for Satanists and adventure seekers and decayed very quickly.
I still remember many of the days, that I have spent there, and still see how everything looked before in front of my eyes. It is sometimes hard to believe some things will be no more and only live in our memory. But life goes on and is only worth living because it keeps going, making moments valuable. As things change, people do too, they get older and cary their memories and life experience with them, everywhere they go. Places can be full of life and then become empty and die, while still existing, sadly it happens to people too making it very hard to revive them.
Processed with VSCO with l3 preset
Version 1
I have used a very famous French song ‘Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien’ by Edith Piaf, which is about her not having any regrets in her life. The song itself is also very gala, beautiful, luxurious and full of life, contrasting with the images a lot, I wanted to show that was upon a time this place was bright and festive and even though those times are long gone, this beautiful melody from the past is still playing in my head. The lyrics used translate as:
Non, rien de rien
No, absolutely nothing
Non, je ne regrette rien
No, I regret nothing
Ni le bien qu’on me fait
Not the good things that have happened
Ni le mal, tout ça m’est bien égale
Nor the bad, it’s all the same to me
Non, rien de rien
No, absolutely nothing
Non, je ne regrette rien
No, I regret nothing
C’est payé, balayé, oublié
It’s paid, swept away, forgotten
Je m’en fou de passé
I don’t care about the past!
Last lyrics did not resemble with me, as much, as the other ones, so I have created a second version, which keeps repeating the first 2 lines of the song over and over, as a broken record, so it kept saying: No, absolutely nothing, no, I regret nothing.
When making this film I have decided to look at hot and controversial topics in world politics right now. I though Bernard Sanders, or Bernie Sanders, as he is usually referred to and calls himself. Bernard has made very controversial statements on how he would spend the country’s budget, which led to a lot of debates and very polar opinions about him and his politics. I wanted to try and show / advertise how a lot of people view Bernard’s politics.
Labels are a big thing right now. They are traditionally used in fashion advertising and are so often put on top of pictures just to make them look and feel a little bit more chic. As advertisement is there to sell and promote things, I thought I would use this trend in my video clip, showing this big name and what it is trying to ‘sell’ to us. His name is the very middle is a constant reminder of whet you are looking at.
I have used real money and burned them using a lighter. I wanted to illustrate the phrase “burning money” and show that his politics, in the eyes of many people is as useful, as literally burning the banknotes.
I am burning Russian roubles, as Russian economy is already on fire, Bernard Sanders have not burned those dollars yet, but Rouble is already burning. That is what Bernard is proposing, so this is an advert for him based on a real existing example.
We visited Bill Viola exhibition at St. Paul’s cathedral, which displayed two of his digital works – “elements” and “Mary and the baby”.
The works were very different, even-though both used the multi screen technology. I got very different feelings and I personally felt the second one through a lot more, as it somehow connected to me through it’s associative imagery, I saw a clear message there, as well as the personal view. I want to also mention that the first piece was beautifully filmed, framed and shown, the only thing that was missing for me, was any scope for an emotional connection or response, as that beautiful moving image was nothing more then a new take on the theme of four elements, that we all know pretty well since the young age.
We visited Bill Viola exhibition at St. Paul’s cathedral, which displayed two of his digital works – “elements” and “Mary and the baby”.
The works were very different, even-though both used the multi screen technology. I got very different feelings and I personally felt the second one through a lot more, as it somehow connected to me through it’s associative imagery, I saw a clear message there, as well as the personal view. I want to also mention that the first piece was beautifully filmed, framed and shown, the only thing that was missing for me, was any scope for an emotional connection or response, as that beautiful moving image was nothing more then a new take on the theme of four elements, that we all know pretty well since the young age.
I drew inspiration a lot more from the second piece, as i want my work to evoke feelings, tell a story or at the very least have some emotional connection with viewers.
I drew inspiration a lot more from the second piece, as i want my work to evoke feelings, tell a story or at the very least have some emotional connection with viewers.
We have visited Pablo Picasso’s exhibition in Royal Academy of arts in London. The exhibition mostly featured Pablo’s ‘Blue period’ (1901-1904) when most of the work he has done were blue monochromatic paintings, which rarely features other colours.
We went to see this exhibition to draw some inspiration and get some creative thoughts for our work. The exhibition left me feeling really empty, while being completely filled with something. After a while I have realised that my head was filled with my own thoughts, the work felt empty and lonely, but that was just it’s mood and aesthetics, but it was so complex and full of something and had loads of questions, while having no answers in it. I felt alive that day and really liked that feeling that Picasso’s work left me with, and even though I did not suddenly want to make a blue film after visiting The Royal Academy, I definitely did know how I wanted my work to feel from now on.
We also saw some of Pablo’s Sculptures, which were a lot more proportional and realistic in terms of their shapes and dimensions, so it was clear that Picasso was able to work in a traditional style, he just chose not to and his unusual manner was not an index of his lack of skills, as some people say. I also saw that he tried many different means before finding his own style, which spoke to me, once again saying: don’t be afraid to try things you don’t usually do or make, and that’s what’s experimenting is all about.
I wanted to explore body and the memories it holds. I wanted to see the different life stages and show how the same person, who was once dancing and laughing might be suffering or dying right now and how problems people might be suffering with will not always be seen underneath the visible fun. I have initially used the song Blinding lights by the Weeknd, because the mood felt right, but the meaning was not really there. This was also a silent film task, so the sound was mostly just for me, at also hugely helped me while editing, to get that realistic movement in the film, which was not working, when I’ve edited it in silence before.
Version 1
I really liked the material and the images that I had, but i was not happy with the song as well as with the fact, that no one in the class could actually hear it. Considering that there were a lot of headphones seen in the video and I (the main character) was dancing a lot, I thought it was only fair for audience to hear or at least see some sort of music. I have found a Russian song called Na zare remixed by Basta which had deep lyrics about life and had a very appropriate mood in terms of the sound. I then decided to create transliterated subtitles using english letters, as I wanted people to be able to read them, but did not translate them, so thinking about the meaning of the words would not disturb them from the images, which were already very powerful in my opinion.
Version 2
I have submitted the version 2 (on top) with out the sound, even though I do prefer it with the volume turned up. But i have really liked it and made a slightly longer version (bottom) just for myself, as i thought version 2 was a tiny little bit not enough for me.
Version 3
In conclusion, I wanted to create a film with a meaning and message, but most importantly with an atmosphere, which would awoke something different and personal in everyone. I wanted my film to be seen as a whole, so no one would see it as a combination of shots, but a whole piece. I don’t want people to analyse while watching my film, I just want them to feel something.
Dasha’s experimental film blog 